When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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