I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I have post one night stand depression
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
