how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
NoShamevember. You game?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
