i just had sex bonerless
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
