Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize