He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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