He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
