with your own penis?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My ass is underappreciated
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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