He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
