he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
