After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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