wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
