pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
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it's like heaven, but drunker
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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