I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
