i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
