1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
my being single is dangerous.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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