I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
