dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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