I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
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It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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