Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize