I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my shit smells like andre
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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