So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my shit smells like andre
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
