I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
