Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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