I hate your face
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
