I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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