brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
