Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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