I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
