we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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