Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
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