Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
