Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
