I love black thongs
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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