the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
