Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
