I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
