there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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