I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
