ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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