You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
