I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize