Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize