and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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