Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
