Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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