The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
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