She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
