i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
