Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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