She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
