It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize