i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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