dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
