Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
