$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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