Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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