Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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