I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
