At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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