Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
FUCK WHALES
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
