Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
