She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
