You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
