i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
