I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
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Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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