Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize