so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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