Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
