Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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