tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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