i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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